I woke up today reflecting on the times at hand. We all know cell phones and technology have skyrocketed into every inch of our current existence. I laid in bed for hours the other night waiting for my guy to cum to bed. I understand people can be tired at different times and I understand that aside, we still all need space and alone time. It’s not the space or the timing that got me thinking. I ended up masterbating while watching some hot faceless meat head jack off on cam. No surprise, my guy was also watching other people jack off while he himself jacked off. I find the entire thing to be hilarious for multiple reasons. The first and most annoying part is that if and when I try to explain anything with relationships, interactions, and pornography, people seem to only hear 1 thing! All they hear is porn and then They just assume that is my problem. People soooooo frequently assume that all women have an issue with porn!! Which is the reason for my second annoyance….hiding and sneaking becomes a trained response to my third annoyance, the NEED! The compulsive, odd behavior that seems almost out of anyone’s control! So this crazy need to watch others fuck eachother or jerk off is so out of anyone’s control that they negate to hiding and sneaking to get what they want and then freak out when you call them out and use the guise that this must be YOUR problem and YOU must just have some issue with porn or be needy! Fuck that! I am porn! I am my own porn and I am my lovers playmate. Sure I look at other people sometimes and sure I get turned on……but I don’t hide and sneak and act a fool to get some sick selfish need soothed! When I went downstairs to try to engage my guy or drop hints I quickly understood my presence was seemingly pressuring and negative. He also quickly and impulsively added he was only looking at old pics and videos on his old computer to clean it out. Of corse not to watching and tipping other cam people. Of corse not to masterbate. Of corse not!!!! So there I stand. Fully seeing this person in front of me and the scenario that is taking place. And finally the funny part…… I have NO mechanism to communicate any of my feeling at all about it hahahahaha! All the 3 annoyances stand between me and any chance of being heard, understood, or communicated effectively with. So I turned around, went upstairs, got out my device, logged in, checked out, and spent the rest of the night watching others live in a fantasy world as I myself fantasied of another scenario or situation! And the beat goes on dumb day dumb day dumb dumb!
Visit Lorelei Little’s Chat Room
